I miss the sound of your voice
and I miss the rush of your skin
Two things out of thousands of different thoughts that dance across my mind at any give time. Your smile. The times I would glance over and catch you staring at me. Most times its a flash of a memory, sometimes I dream about you. Either way, you’re there, in my heart.
I miss the still of the silence
as you breathe out and I breathe in
You made all the static in my head go away. That loud buzzing noise was always much quieter when you held me. Sometimes I can think of nothing better than laying next to you, my head on your chest, the fan turning lazily above us, both of us wearing nothing but a smile. Music quietly playing, and drifting to sleep because the sound of your heart beats louder than any music that is playing.
Make you believe
Make you forget
I’m well aware of what I did. I did what I never intended to do, what I thought I could overcome. The thing is, I knew from the start that I was going to end up hurting you in some way. I thought you had taught me enough not to but I was wrong. You’ll never understand this now, but I’ve learned a lot about myself, about life, about the things that I did and the things I took for granted. Without complication, easy IS simple. We don’t have that complication. Loving each other always came easy anyways. I hope you don’t deny that too.
I ache to remember all the violent, sweet, perfect words that you said
We said some pretty mean things to each other, didn’t we? I always tried not to be petty but I’m sure I failed. I knew how to hurt you and I hate myself for doing it sometimes. No one deserves that. I know that. Is this part of the reason you won’t talk to me now? I’m trying not to make assumptions but I’m struggling to understand.
Pull me down hard, and drown me in love
I don’t mind not being able to breathe because of you. But I wish it was because you were taking my breath away, and not because of the tears.
It’s all wrong
It’s so right
None of this matters. What I say, what I try to do, it all means nothing. I’m impossible to love, I’ve never been worth fighting for. The one person who tries to fight for me is the one person I hate most in this world. Is this what I deserve? It must be. Because I always seem to be the one at the end of it all that loved more than they were loved.
Because everything works in your arms
It always has. I don’t know if anything will work again, now.