I’m 26. My birthday is less than 25 days away. (Hint dropping? Me? Noooo) During my 26 years on this lovely planet, I’ve learned a lot. One most important thing?
Specifically, for my actions.
If you didn’t know this already, I was in an abusive marriage. (We are touching on abuse soon, aren’t you glad?) I’ve been out of it for a little over 2 years. For the last year of that marriage, I was having an affair. [insert judgment I don’t care about here].
I don’t regret it. He helped me get out of a marriage I did not want to be in. He gave me the confidence I never thought I would have again, to see that I was a good person again.
We didn’t work out, but we had purpose. In the end, to me, that’s all that matters.
There’s a point here… I know it’s somewhere.
Look, we all make choices in life. Sometimes, when making these choices, we consider what it’s going to mean to the people around us. Sometimes, we don’t. Sometimes we act on an incredibly selfish way and do only what we want to do for US.
And that is ok. If you spend your whole life worrying about what other people think, or about what some people think is right or wrong, you’ll never find your own happiness. I chose to have an affair. I owned that decision. I experienced great love as a result of being selfish.
Again, with the point…
Here it is! I did what I did. I did it knowing that there were consequences. And I was 100% prepared to deal with them.
THERE’S THE POINT.
I made a choice. I knew that, no matter the outcome, I would have to face what I did had I needed to.
I wouldn’t have lied. I wouldn’t have blamed someone else for the mess I had made for myself. Most importantly, I would not have made myself the victim. I would not have seeked sympathy, especially not in the capacity where if, the situation were reversed, those who held my hand would then be ignored by me.
oh tangent. Sorry.
Point. Back to it.
Ownership. It’s pretty much the word of the day.
Own your fucking choices.
Own your fuck ups.
Own your reality which means you have to face it first.
And stop taking the easy way out. Maybe not settling for something that makes you unhappy, even if the other side is scary, is what you need to do.
Oh also? If you make your fucking bed, be prepared to fucking lay in it.