Posted by: justmiss | January 15, 2009


I just finished an excellent book, recommended by my excellent friend ZoeyJane called lullabies for little criminals by Heather O’Neill. I’m not going to do an official “review” because, well, the book is just so damn good that any words I use to describe it would not do it justice.

So I thought I’d share my favorite part of the book:

Xavier wasn’t put on earth to witness the bad things like Jules and I were. He had been put here to notice lovely things, things that God had created and no one had any complaints about. Leaves turning red in autumn. How when the tide goes out, the shells are left on the shore. I was put here – Jules and I were both put here – to see sadder things. We had to stand in the rain and explain why the world was a lovely place.

O’Neill writes with a raw intensity that I haven’t read very often.

Sometimes, I really think about the lives that we lead, about what we are destined to do, intended to be, expected to touch or to change. Do you think that we are all here for some kind of cosmic purpose, completely out of our hands because, in reality, we are dealing with something that is bigger than all of us?

Now, I’m not talking about God. No. I’m talking about cosmic force. Karma. Fate. The Universes intention for the direction that we take.

I am a very FIRM believer in “everything happens for a reason”. I KNOW this to be true. There are moments in my life where I can literally pinpoint a moment, a decision, that completely changed the course of my life. Then I review the entire butterfly effect that has brought me to the place I am now.

Small example: Saying yes when my ex clumsily asked me to go out with him brought me my son.

Can you see the residual benefits of what happened after that?

I suppose what I’m trying to say is that because I believe everything happens for a reason, I’m learning to take all things in stride. Focus on the good, laugh off the insignificant things, and gain a little perspective on the grand scheme of things. Ultimately, in a month, in 6 months, in a year, 10 years… I’ll look back on this time and try to connect the pieces that make up the completed puzzle that is right then and there.

I’m hoping it will be beautiful.



  1. I believe VERY firmly in purpose as well!!


    If I hadn’t lived in Chile I would never be interested in learning Spanish, meaning that I would have never worked for a spanish owned eewspaper here in London that triggered my carrer as a photographer (I first started as a photojournalist).

    Want another one?

    If my parents hedn’t decided to speak in English when the didn;t want us to understand them I would never be curious enough to learn the language, and would probably never take the decision stay in the US for a while when I was 10, meaning I would not fall in love with Marketing (I had been accepted and Uni for Computer Science and that was the career I was about to follow) meaning I would never start working for the company I worked in Brazil prior to having my nervous breakdown and deciding to come to the UK for a while where I met my wife…

    Life’s full of little surprises, but there is purpose in everything.

    don;t u think?

  2. See above – if I hadn’t been bullied I wouldn’t have been a loner who turned to the internet to find solace and I wouldn’t have met the husband after he decided to come to the UK.
    I absolutely loved that book too.

  3. You KNOW I believe the same thing. I do think we make choices that influence what happens to us, but I also think a lot of it is pre-determined. More religious people than I will call it God’s will, but whatever you call it I think it’s hard to deny.

  4. That’s an awesome outlook…

  5. Me too. Doesn’t stop me from wondering what would have happened had I done B instead of C though. Life is crazy.

  6. Hell, yes. Every single day, I see that butterfly effect. And I’m really happy that you liked the book. AND I will totally stand in the rain, with you.

  7. Exactly. You have to just look at the big picture. The events are all set up for a reason, and the reason is learning. Dont try to figure it out, just go with the flow.

  8. And that is why I just roll with the punches. Everything happens for a reason has been my mantra pretty much my entire adult life. If it hadn’t been, I’d have polished off too much whiskey.

  9. I’ve been eyeing that book for a while…now I think I’ll have to pick it up.

    I’ve always believed in things happening for a reason, or even fate, as it were. Right now, though, I guess understandably so, I suppose, I’m having a hard time figuring out the “why” of current events.

    That being said, it does reinforce your attitude, that living for the moment, for the day, for the NOW, and enjoying every precious second of it is so important, especially with those you love…

  10. I am in search of a new book.. I need to go pick that up.. I will text you tomorrow for the name my loverly..xoxox

  11. I just love your outlook. It is something I certainly need to instill more often. It never helps looking back and filling present thoughts with “what if’s.”
    This sounds like a great read!

    I’ve missed you while I was away.

  12. You’re very wise Miss. I’m sure that puzzle will be beautiful…

  13. Lovely post.
    “the free will’ers and the pre-determination’ers were still battling it out in the last inning” –The Illuminatus! Trilogy, Shea & Wilson

    I saw, recently, a statement that fate can lead you to a door but can’t make you walk through.
    I’m pretty down with the “everything happens for a reason” sentiment.
    I’ve been through some tough times – including one thing / phase that I feel regret about, and like I’d do it differently if I could, but the place I’m in now is very happy, and I have a wonderful man at my side. ;D
    (which might or might not be true if I’d done those things differently)

    I have a friend who *really* doesn’t like the statement, “it was meant to be”. I don’t think that’s necessarily what you’re saying here, though. Maybe more of the, “fate can lead you to the door” sentiment?

    I’m sure you’ll make your puzzle beautiful.


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