Posted by: justmiss | April 24, 2009

What a screwed up pod of peas…

This guest post comes from my really good friend Ashley, or as most of you know her, Bosssanders. Let me tell you something about Ashley. She is hysterical. She’s witty  and clever and about 50 weeks pregnant so most of her jokes right now are about bladder control. Which is fine. I mean, who doesn’t like jokes about pee? Anyways, take a minute to giggle and then send her some good labor vibes. At this point, her kid will be old enough for kindergarten by the time it decides to come out.

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I’ve only met Miss online so far, but I consider her a pretty close friend.  She’s stood by me and listened to me talk smack and cry and told me to put my big-girl panties on when I needed to hear it most.  She’s a great friend, and it’s amazing how much in common we have…

I mean, Miss is so hot that she has to fight the boys off to keep from being manhandled.  Me?  I get manhandled all of the time, too – only they just want to touch my pregnant belly, and it’s all women.

Miss sleeps on pretty white sheets with blue flowers that envelope her and lull her to sleep.  My sheets crinkle beneath me because I thought a vinyl protector cover might be a good idea just in case my water broke in bed… or I got really lazy one night and decided to not get up and pee for the umpteenth time.

Miss can’t remember what thread count her pretty sheets are … I didn’t know I was supposed to count.

Miss likes good conversation.  I rarely shut up.

Miss’ favorite shoes are her Steve Madden heels or the sexy high heeled boots she owns.  I can’t even see my feet anymore…

Miss enjoys spending time with her friends over a beer… I consider myself lucky to hang out with friends without wailing children climbing on me.

Miss blogs about vibrators and sex.  I beg my husband to just hurry up and do it because the doctor SAID it could induce labor, dammit – and this baby needs to be BORN.

Miss gets to have fun sex.  My uterus twitches at the thought.  On its own.

Miss enjoys clean clothes and does laundry at least every week.  I only have two pairs of pants and a handful of tops that fit and only wash after they fail the sniff test.

Miss’ first crush had a mullet.  My 2 year old daughter has a mullet.

Miss meets boys in bars and loves an ice cold newcastle.  I meet boys in the men’s room when I can’t wait in the ladies’ line any longer.

One of Miss’ biggest pet peeves is self-centeredness and I devote an entire blog to MYSELF.

Miss likes to shave at least every other day.  I can’t even see what I’m shaving anymore and am willing to bet it’s beginning to look a little artistic…or something.

Miss likes men with a little facial stubble…I’m fairly sure I have some.

We’re like two peas in a pod.  REALLY.  It’s like we were meant to be best friends or something.  I know, the similarities freak me out, too…


Responses

  1. LOL that’s really funny. ::sending happy labor vibes your way::

  2. I lol’d

  3. Screwed up WICKED peas of a pod.

    You’re hilarious, girl.

    And your 50 week pregnant belly is beyond cute, which is why I would likely touch it too. Because, you know, I’m an old lady and all ;).

  4. Stalker….. :P

  5. Pamela – thanks!

    Karen MEG – lol I hardly think you qualify as an old lady!

    ZJ – You know it.

  6. *giggle*
    Funnay! :D


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