He drowns in his dreams, an exquisit extreme I know…

He holds hope inside him like a treasure. He wants a certain life, he wants to acheive so much. And I stand behind him, just as hopeful, always wanting the best. Always knowing that he has it inside him to be great.

If I try to save him, my whole world could cave in…

I’ve done my best, I gave everything I could. I pushed him, told him he could be whoever he wanted to be. Believed in him. Helped him get places that no one else would. But that was then. And now, if I gave all of myself again, I will get pulled in, drowning just as quickly as he will.

He’s magic and myth, as strong as what I believe

He’s amazing. He’s so much. Too much I think somedays. I’m trying to keep my head up, trying to stay strong and it’s getting harder and harder. I feel myself loosing grip. Sleep is fleeting, hard to achieve. My brain and my heart are racing to the finish.ANd I’m the only one loosing that race.

I’m waiting for some kind of miracle, waited so long

I’m wishing for clarity. I want my choice to be clear as day. I want this time to be what it was meant to be, not all skewed by the complication that is already weighing us down. Easy. Uncomplicated. Why can’t everything be like that? Without limitation, without expectation. Just happens to be exactly what it is. That’s what I should be focusing on.

He’s never enough. But still he’s more than I can take.

Exactly. Fucking exactly. I don’t know what the fuck I want. I don’t know who I want. I don’t even know how well of a person I can be. Fuckity.

If I could hold on, through the tears and the laughter… Will it be beautiful? Or just a beautiful disaster?

Guess we’ll find out.